I awoke this morning at 3am filled with fear, worry and on the edge of panic.
Yesterday afternoon was amazing. Dan's family blessed us with an Outback gift card and we went to celebrate five years of sobriety and enjoy a great meal. It was fantastic and what made it even better is Penny had a great time. Our server was amazing and we tipped him more than 20% because he was truly great. We came home and started working on cleaning out the office which will become the new baby's room.
I woke up this morning in the grips of panic...how are we going to do this? How can we afford this child? It was overwhelming. I crawled out of bed and got on my knees and prayed every fear and worry scripture I could think of....Cast your anxieties on Him because he cares for you...Greater is He that is in me, than He that is in this world....Look at the lilies of the field...
And I found myself counteracting their power.
'Well, the lilies of field didn't have to put diapers and feed their kids.' I thought. Ugh. I was stuck. Stuck in my worry. My anxiety. Stuck.
I started to remind myself of how God has provided for us. How I was worried about Penny and how God provided. I began to pray for peace and wisdom and reminding myself that God will bless me with these if I allow them in my heart. I need to "Let the peace of Christ rule in my heart...(since I was)...called to peace"
So, I got up, came in the office and brought my Bible and remembered my pregnancy verse.
Mark 5:36 "Don't be afraid; Just believe."
I need to just believe. Remember the miracles that my family has been blessed with. Remember who's I am and He has provided for our needs. This child is His, we are His. He will make a way.
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