Can my husband trust me if I party all night?

Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.  Proverbs 31:11


Before I gave my life to Christ, I used to grumble about my husband. He was an active alcoholic then. He did not treat me right. He was mean to me. I ran from him...a lot. I would work as much as possible and hang out all night with my friends, go dancing, get drunk so I could avoid my husband. He's the problem...right? First hint...notice all the me, me me's!


Isn't it amazing who "me" centered life can get?


Even though there were bad things going on with him, I was just as bad. Do I need to go through the list...Ummm, let's see...overworking, avoiding problems, hanging out all night, cruel, mean, self-centered, abusive and let us not forget the drunk part. So even though I could create a list on him, he definitely could create and list on me. Is this one of those, "log in the eye" moments Jesus talked about?


To say all of that, I was not the wife described above. Upon entering the house at 4 am with no phone call of where I was, I gave my husband no reason to trust me. Actually, I was not even thinking about any courtesy to him. I was so focused on me.


So now, as a woman who working to be a woman of God, I see the need to elevate others, especially my husband, above myself. Romans 12:9-10 says, "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves." Earlier, Paul even says "Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment" (v3).


That requires that no matter what my husband says or does, (which by the way, he is extraordinary!) "I honor him and show him my honor and respect. If he is wrong, God will take care of it. I need to allow God to do his job. "Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.." (v17-19) Ladies, this is for the husband, the people in our lives, who believe in God and the ones who don't. WOW!


It seems I digress but really I am not. What builds trust? I believe trust is partially built through humility. As I humble myself, get over myself and stop believing the "Veronica hype" that I may be all that and a bag of chips and my needs are MOST important, I elevate others, highlight them and honor them. But first and foremost my husband. Then I will find a husband who will fulfill EVERY need, who trusts me and whose life is greatly enriched. :)

Noble what?

A wife of noble character who can find? 
    She is worth far more than rubies. Proverbs 31:10


Nobility is totally lost on today's western culture. It mostly can be seen in the way that "rag mag's" cover European monarchies. Full of rumors, pics and gossip, these magazines and magazine shows often look to find the worst and dirtiest secrets of the elite. Because of this, the idea and concepts of nobility have less weight or importance. So I find myself in this day and age of anything goes asking myself...what is noble.


Noble is defined as one distinguished by rank or title, pertaining to persons so distinguished but more importantly, a person of exalted moral or mental character or excellence. High-minded, lofty and elevated are synonyms. 


Looking at this definition, yes, a woman of noble character is worth far more than rubies. By the way, a good ruby runs about $1,800 for .41ct. Yikes!


Based of of this one verse, the Proverbs 31 woman is one who makes a choice to put God first because she is high-minded. She seeks growth because she exalted mentally but even more so, she go deep into the Word, the Bible, because the way to distinguish what is moral and not is to know what God says. She seeks God because she exalted morally and because she does all of this, her husband, family, friends and the people around her count her more precious and more valuable than 150 pounds of rubies...and then some. Remember, "every good and perfect gift come from the Father of heavenly lights who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17


I am on a quest to understand, to know and to grow into the Proverbs 31 woman.
I am tired of being the "other" woman described in Proverbs to my husband and family. You know what I am talking about...


It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife. 
Proverbs 29:1


It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
Proverbs 21:19


Just to name a few!
I don't want my husband or family to characterize me this way. And if that is what I want, I need to understand her and incorporate her in my life :)

Is my dance over?

I don't normally blog twice in a day but I felt that I could not ignore the feelings I had when I saw this video.
It was taken a year prior to my retirement from dance...so about ten years ago.
Watching it effected me. It is not often that I miss dancing. Lately my heart is stirring for it. But this video reminded me why I loved dancing.
I danced for more than 25 years of my life. A portion of that was as a professional. When it became time to leave, I was embittered by dance almost to the point of hating it. I hurt all the time, I was never thin enough. My marriage was a wreak. I blamed it all on dance.
Through several years of recovery, of course I realized it was not dance that I hated but me.
When I watch this video, I remembered why I loved it. It also saddens me. If I had used my ability to glorify God instead of myself....what more joy may I have had.
Even now, as I dance around my home with my daughter and husband I have way more joy. When I worship God and move my feet, I feel complete joy.
So, I miss you dance. Maybe we can get together in a serious way soon.

Thank you sir. May I have another?

Admonishment. I don't necessarily like it but I am so grateful for it.

It's like my daughter. She gets so caught up in playing with toys that she totally misses me saying, "Penny, time to clean up." When she ignores me, the admonishment process begins.  "Penny, if you don't clean up, you will got into isolation. Do you understand?" "Yes Mommy!"But sometimes it needs to go further. She ignore it and the warning isn't enough.  That is how I see God dealing with me. He will speak to my heart. I miss it. He sends someone my way. Oops...I missed it. Now it's time for a spanking. I read this today and it really opened my eyes. Psalm 1 says this... Blessed is the one  who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord and who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither— whatever they do prospers.  Not so the wicked! They are like chaff that the wind blows away.  Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.  (WOW...my personal interjection!) For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction. God loves me so much that He disciplines me, He guides me, He directs me, He watches over my way and tries to lead me on the correct way. And I want to hear Him. That is why I have accountability and godly women in my life. They are not perfect but they are outside of my situation. You can't be in the parade and watch it to. I listen to them and I am thankful for their patience and love. I am grateful for a whole book that guides my life right now, right where I am.  I am grateful for that judgement. I would rather not find myself blown away or on the path of destruction!

For the believing...

Miracles are amazing. I just love seeing them. That might be why I love Celebrate Recovery so much. We see miracles on Friday nights all the time.
With recent events and the current series my church is in, I feel like I am seeing miracles more and more. My eyes are open to them and my heart and mind are receptive to them.
For those of us who believe, (believe meaning faith and a synonym for obedience...think about that), miracles strengthen us. They build us up. They increase the strength of our relationship with God. Our closeness to Him. But sometimes we have a hard time seeing the miracles around us. We get so closed off, so self-centered that we lose track of them. And when we are in this place, we break relationship with God, right? I pose it as a question because it is something to think about. If we are blinded to the works God is performing around us, then we are missing God which means we may not be as intimate with Him as we should.
I remember my husband sharing a miracle with me. "He can see! He can see!" He was so excited that he had a bounce in his step and a huge smile on his face. When I heard the news, my heart did not jump. "That's great", I shared but really, I was so absorbed in my day that I missed the greatness of an amazing miracle.  I was focused on me, consumed with me that I totally missed God.
This is just a reminder to...
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith Hebrews 12:2

Let us rejoice and praise God for what He has done and will do!