I have a bad habit. One that started years and years and some more years ago. In the morning, when I get out of the shower I go to the mirror, turn profile, look at my belly and suck it in. Then I take my hands and push my belly in trying to make myself as small as possible. I have done this for years. I think it started when I was about 12 years old. That is when my identity started to become entangled with the size of my body. I wanted to see how much smaller I could get. And there were times that I now look back and I almost disappeared. With the eyes that I have now, that is what I see. But the eyes that I had then, I had another inch or two that could be lost from my profile.
I know what you may be thinking...how sad. It is sad. But I have a feeling that you may look in the mirror and do the same thing with another part of your body. Or maybe another part of your being.
Isn't sad that we cannot enjoy what God has created. He formed us. He put inside me a need to eat. It saved my life because I could only starve myself so much. God knew and so He put a failsafe in me. He created my thighs. Big and all. But He sees them as beautiful. Inside me, He place compassion that I tried to kill but He knew I would try. So He put so much in me that there was no way to kill it.
God knew. God created. God said "it was good".
Isn't time we started to see that?
i do the same belly thing, have since after i had open heart surgey @ age 15 when i gained 30 lbs during recovery and "lost" my dancer figure and struggled with my wait and appearance ever since. /thanks for sharing and the new perspective, tomorrow morning instead for trying to flatten it out im gonna do the truffle shuffle and praise Jesus!
ReplyDeleteI do the same thing almost everyday as well. Thanks for the encouragement and honesty. I appreciate and love you!
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