This morning was a rough morning. Normally, I like to get up, read the Word and pray. Spending time with God always starts my day of right. This morning, that did not happen.
I found myself in a grumbling place. If you have ever read Exodus in the NIV, I think the word "grumbling" is used about a bajillion times. Yeah, I said bajillion. And I was in full HALT...Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired. HALT. I wasn't a pleasant person to be around this morning. Frustrated because things and my family weren't going my way. Trying to impose MY WILL on them. Expecting my poor husband to crawl inside my head and understand my needs. Needless to say, I wasn't nice...I was grumbly! And I was wearing myself out. Physically, I was exhausted, hence the T in HALT.
My perfection was seizing every part of my body and my being. No joy could infiltrate my heart. And God couldn't either. You see, allowing God to work through you is a choice. I can choose to allow God to fill me. I can choose to see things through His eyes. I can choose to call on the Holy Spirit to help and guide me. I chose to seek my own desires. I chose to live in my flesh. I chose to be my own strength. And when that happens, guess what? I fail. Philippians doesn't say I can do all things through me who gives me strength. Oh no! Romans 7:18 reminds me that "...nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good but cannot carry it out." And boy is that true. Instead Philippians says, "I can do ALL things through Christ who give me strength".
So usually on these days I take a redo. Since the LORD's compassions are new everyday (Lamentations 3:22-24) and every moment, I restart the day. I make my amends, pretend my alarm goes off. Press the off button and start over. I am so grateful for that!
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